A few weeks ago, Dan and I celebrated our eighth Valentine's Day together. Well, sort of. Last year was actually the first year we were together on Valentine's Day. Love long distance! The first one was my fault though, I worked on Valentine's Day in high school. Had I known we wouldn't celebrate another one together for 6 years maybe I would have figured out a way to take it off.
We've never made a big deal out of the holiday. Similar to other holidays, what we really wanted most was to be able to spend time together, presents didn't matter all that much. We still usually sent each other something small...candy, a card, maybe some cheesy valentine's thing. My last year in college I really wanted Dan to get me an Edible Arrangement-so much so that I sent him the link to the groupon for it and drove to the middle of nowhere to pick it up because even I thought a $15 delivery fee was ridiculous. I sent him Star Wars cookbooks in exchange (thank you Amazon prime 2-day delivery!) One year I made an impulse purchase at CVS to send in his package-red plastic handcuffs with some stupid saying on them. Have to say I regret that one seeing as they are still in our apartment.
Frequently we'd end up getting each other 2 cards-one meaningful card and one funny one. Last year I think we may have actually just gotten each other real sentimental cards, it was our first Valentine's Day together after all. We did everything we were supposed to do-Dan got home early from work, we both dressed up, he bought me chocolate, I bought him lingerie (yes that is a present for him, not me!), went out to dinner at an Italian restaurant...I'll let you fill in the blanks.
This year, lets just say we're over that. Dan got home later from work than usual (damn all those people trying to get to Valentine's dinners), we dined on fine Thai takeout from a place down the street, lounged around in sweats, got each other funny cards, bonded with the cat, I bought him new pants for work, he bought me some jewelry because we got a card in the mail saying it was on sale and I told him I liked it, and had a very elegant dinner on tv tables while watching the Olympics. The highlight of the day for him was probably the fact that I woke up early to make him cinnamon rolls for breakfast, but even those were from a can. One of his cards to me was about bacon, the other one was fifty shades of grey themed, my card for him basically told him to look me in the eyes instead of a foot lower. There's a lot of comfort in not feeling the pressure to make Valentine's Day, or any other day perfect like there might be for newer couples. We still make certain not to let our relationship fall out of focus, that was a major topic of discussion during our marriage mentoring, but with all the craziness that is going on in our lives right now, spending time together is still the most important part of celebrating the day of love.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Friday, January 24, 2014
Something Old, Something New...
To prevent myself from basically repeating last year's Christmas post, I'm just going to skip over the remainder of the holiday season and mention that Dan and I are seriously considering taking our honeymoon over Christmas next year. We adore our families and are so grateful that we get to see so many relatives and spend quality time with them during the holidays....but its A LOT. Competition is back on between me and Dan/Tim and Sam to see who has kids first and gets to say "we're hosting Christmas at our place, this is the time you come, this is the time you leave...if you don't show up we won't be seeing you". It was particularly stressful this year as my grandmother did pass away on December 1st...so not only did we spend a ton of time with my mom's family in a very short time frame, there was definitely sadness lingering over our family celebrations.
Moving on...I started my MBA classes on January 8th and so far so good...I've been scrambling to finish reading/homework assignments on 4 out of the 5 days I've had stuff due but with my schedule I shouldn't be too surprised about that. I'm definitely improving though! This week was also the first week that I planned my wedding instead of paying attention for most of my marketing lecture, I think its a pretty good record overall too. However, I freaked myself out in the middle of class when I realized that even though I have everything I'm planning to wear for the wedding except panties, I don't have something old or something borrowed from the rhyme! I could wear underwear I already own...but that's kinda weird. And probably not going to borrow that from someone so its time to get creative! Melissa and I started throwing ideas back and forth immediately...thankfully grad school professors don't really care as much about texting in class as those at UR did.
Right now my thoughts are that I'll wrap a rosary around my bouquet...I think I have 4 that I've inherited from various uber-Catholic relatives. Something borrowed is a little trickier though. I think most people borrow jewelry but I ordered earrings and a hairpiece that match my dress and I'm not planning on wearing anything else. For now I've settled on borrowing a handkerchief from one of my parents, although I also talked to my mom about her garter. My [now] uncle caught it at my parents' wedding so I may just have to email my aunt and see if its still around somewhere. My guess is no, though. I also just came up with the idea of maybe making a garter out of a piece of my mom's dress since she's thinking about just getting rid of it. I wasn't planning on wearing a garter actually because the whole garter throwing piece totally weirds Dan out so I figured it was just an expense I didn't need, but I'm open to it. I'm a little superstitious I guess of wearing something for my wedding that belongs to someone who's marriage didn't work out, but I'm not sure I really have an option with Dan and I both having divorced parents. So if anyone has other suggestions...or something I can borrow let me know :)
Other than that wedding planning is going pretty well. Dan just picked up his tuxedo since he's going to give it a trial run at Winter Ball at the Union League Club at the end of February (I might be wearing my wedding earrings and maybe even my shoes to that too and it'll be in the same space as our wedding--almost a dress rehearsal?!). We did our tasting and are about 90% set on our menu although Dan and I can't agree on a second cake flavor. We settled on guest presents, finalized our guest list for the most part, and addressed the majority of the inner & outer envelopes for the invitations. I got my 5-month countdown reminder email from theknot.com which was a scary/exciting experience. Also received my bachelorette invitation...there are some definite dangers to your maid of honor having known you since you were 2-the picture on my bachelorette invitation was proof of that!
I'm still at the point where on a daily, or hourly, basis I alternate back and forth between feeling overwhelmed and thinking I must have a death wish to feeling like I've got it all under control. Its been a little slow at work for the past couple of months which is probably the only thing working in my favor right now. Its giving me plenty of time to wrap up last minute homework, browse reception decoration ideas, and search for a new apartment! We're signing a 2+ year lease on Sunday for a condo in the South Loop and we're thrilled to be making the move! Dan's more excited than I am-although it comes with a higher rent, it will probably cut off 30-45 minutes of his daily commute by avoiding traffic on lakeshore drive. Moving 2 months before the wedding is a pretty scary prospect, but we are planning to do it over Easter weekend (sorry family, no Princeton/cornfield this year!) when Dan has 4 days off work so that will help a ton! Memo for those of you attending my bridal shower: non-breakable gifts are appreciated :)
Another Friday night of doing homework and running errands stretches out before me so that's all for now!
Sunday, December 22, 2013
The Name Game
I love Christmas cards-sending them and receiving them. Growing up, I always enjoyed reading people's annual updates and looking at the family pictures even if it was someone I didn't know or had only met once when I was very young. I did not always love assembling for our family photo because my siblings were usually impossible and, looking back, someone always had a funny haircut.
It seems that sending Christmas cards is one of those "you've finally reached adulthood" type things so I've been happy to send them to my family and close friends the past few years. Last year I made a point of writing pretty lengthy messages to most people, definitely didn't have the time this year and probably won't ever again. I was glad this year to have something to use our engagement pictures for, and collecting all those addresses for save-the-dates and invitations served a duplicate purpose which was helpful too! Dan got some good practice in stamping and licking as well-I'm sure he enjoyed that particular task :)
Not sure if anyone else had this experience, but our mail person seemed to deliver our Christmas cards in packs this year. We'd get 3 one day, none for a few days, and then another bunch. Or maybe our family and friends who sent us cards just got around to mailing them the same day, who knows. I love having new cards (now that Dan made me take down our engagement cards) and lots of pictures to hang on our fridge, but what I loved most of all this year were the envelopes!
Yes, I realize this is weird, but the one benefit of getting our cards in packs was comparing how people addressed them in this weird engagement period. Last year I don't remember seeing anything other than "Sarah Wallace and Dan Magner", or "Dan Magner and Sarah Wallace" or maybe just one of our names depending on who it was from.
This year, we got a whole variety and it was so much fun to see all the different combinations (this isn't all of them...but I think I covered all the combinations)!
It seems that sending Christmas cards is one of those "you've finally reached adulthood" type things so I've been happy to send them to my family and close friends the past few years. Last year I made a point of writing pretty lengthy messages to most people, definitely didn't have the time this year and probably won't ever again. I was glad this year to have something to use our engagement pictures for, and collecting all those addresses for save-the-dates and invitations served a duplicate purpose which was helpful too! Dan got some good practice in stamping and licking as well-I'm sure he enjoyed that particular task :)
Not sure if anyone else had this experience, but our mail person seemed to deliver our Christmas cards in packs this year. We'd get 3 one day, none for a few days, and then another bunch. Or maybe our family and friends who sent us cards just got around to mailing them the same day, who knows. I love having new cards (now that Dan made me take down our engagement cards) and lots of pictures to hang on our fridge, but what I loved most of all this year were the envelopes!
Yes, I realize this is weird, but the one benefit of getting our cards in packs was comparing how people addressed them in this weird engagement period. Last year I don't remember seeing anything other than "Sarah Wallace and Dan Magner", or "Dan Magner and Sarah Wallace" or maybe just one of our names depending on who it was from.
This year, we got a whole variety and it was so much fun to see all the different combinations (this isn't all of them...but I think I covered all the combinations)!
When I've written our names recently (Christmas cards, save the date return address stamps, etc) I usually just write our first names and reverse the order each time and completely eliminate last names. Its weird, yes, but two last names is too much work. You can typically tell whose friend or family member is writing to us based on which name comes first on some of the envelopes, the Sarah and Dan Magner's are each from one of our cousins and the Mr & Mrs. Magner's are both from friends. Dan's favorite is that last one with Mr. & Mrs. Magner. I was the one who got the mail and handed it to him saying that we got a card for his aunt and uncle (the only Mr. & Mrs. Magner I know). He didn't think that was very funny for some reason.
Question of the hour now--am I changing my name? If so, to what? Surprisingly, Dan's mom didn't think I would change my last name, saying it seems to be the trend not to these days. I actually think that particular trend has passed for the most part, but its all circumstantial. If I were older (i.e. more established in my career) or was marrying someone with a particularly unusual name, I think I would have kept Wallace. My mom kept her married name even after her divorce primarily for professional reasons, and the fact that for almost half her life she's been Susan Wallace, not Susan Hedrich. Dan's mom opted to change hers back.
It's really important to Dan that I change my name, and I don't mind at all. I like the symbol of unity within our family (especially once we have children), I appreciate tradition, and frankly I like being further up in the alphabet! It will be a pain for probably a couple of years as I find more things I forgot to change my name for, but keeping my maiden name or doing a hyphenated last name could be a pain for much longer. Besides, Magner-Wallace sounds much better than Wallace-Magner and that first option just doesn't totally make sense.
Anyways, my next struggle was with my middle name. My mom eliminated her given middle name (Provost) and took her maiden name, Hedrich as her middle name when she got married which I think is pretty common. However, I think Wallace is a weird middle name. Giving maiden names as a child's middle name is traditional in my family, but I wouldn't even subject a child of mine to that. For the record, I also think Wallace is a weird first name. I also like my middle name- Breckinridge-and its even more important to me now that my grandmother (it was her middle name too) passed away a couple of weeks ago. "B" is also a better middle initial than "W". Sarah W. Magner? No thanks!
So I decided (and this may change before I legally switch) to do what gives me the most flexibility in the future-I'll change my last name and use both my given middle name and my maiden name as middle names. Legally, I'll be Sarah Breckinridge Wallace Magner. I've been practicing my new signature (lets be honest, that's been happening for a few years now) and I haven't totally decided what I want to do yet, but thankfully I have time.
For those of you wondering how to address our wedding cards or Christmas cards next year, Mr. and Mrs. Magner is completely appropriate, and I won't try to pretend its not for us anymore. Merry Christmas everyone!!
Friday, November 15, 2013
A Proud Daughter
About a month ago, my mom announced that she was a finalist for Chicago CFO of the Year. Even though I had no clue what that involved, it sounded like a big deal and if she was excited so was I! She invited me (or really Erikson's Board of Directors invited me) to attend to the networking reception and awards ceremony. Despite grumbling about having to wear a suit, I put it on the calendar.
I approached the concierge desk at the Marriott where the event was being held and asked where to go. The concierge's response: "Just follow all those men in suits". Oh goody. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that the event would be mostly men, still doesn't thrill me.
"Dinner" was station-based during a networking reception. Although my mother spoke to and introduced me to a number of women (including a great new contact at Aon), probably 75% of the attendees were men. Didn't take me long to realize that I should have suggested one of my single friends go instead of me!
Sitting down during the dessert/awards portion, I flipped through the program. There were a total of 30 finalists in 6 different categories: medium and large private, medium and large not-for-profit, and medium and large public companies. Of the 30 finalists, 7 were women and 5 were in my mom's category: medium sized not-for-profit company. Despite the odds, a man won her category along with all 5 other awards. Four of the six winners mentioned a wife and children in their acceptance speech. No husbands or other partners mentioned at all. I believe every winner acknowledged his wife as the one who keeps him sane and balances out a crazy work life. I wonder, if I were to make that speech someday, would I be acknowledging a husband who keeps me sane? Because Dan does. I've also been told that I wear the pants in our relationship since we were in high school...guess that's just one more way my career and lifestyle maybe more traditionally reflects a male partner than a female one.
I read my mom's acceptance speech over her shoulder. It was pretty easy despite the dim light because she typed it up big enough to be able to read without her glasses. Part of her speech, and her bio in the program, was about her dedication to mentoring young women in the finance field. The final line of her speech mentioned one of her proudest moments being when her daughter (aka me) told her that she was a great role model as a professional woman. Now, I've recently discovered that my mom likes to paraphrase what I say and I'm not certain I've ever said that to her face, although I probably should have. She is a great role model as a successful female professional, although for many years I held a different opinion on her mothering skills and I'm still working through that one.
Needless to say, I was annoyed by the end of the evening and my mom was pretty shocked as well to see a full roster of male winners. I don't think its a reflection of the women in the CFO position not being good enough to qualify, but probably rather the lack of women in a CFO position period. My mom acknowledges that she feels very isolated at this point in her career being one of the few women her age in that kind of professional position. Her peers in the workforce are less likely to be at that level because so many of them took time off to have kids-"the mommy track". She wonders if it will be the same way when I'm her age.
More than at any other point in my life, last night made me to want to be a CFO-a career that I've never, ever considered. Not because I think its a super cool job, it isn't, but just because I know that I could be good enough to deserve to win one of those categories. Believe me, I think my mom is too and probably any number of other female CFOs as well.
I'm interested to see how I reflect back on last night after I finish reading Lean In and participate in the Aon women's network bookclub on it next Thursday. Maybe I'll set a personal record for blogging twice in a week!
I approached the concierge desk at the Marriott where the event was being held and asked where to go. The concierge's response: "Just follow all those men in suits". Oh goody. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that the event would be mostly men, still doesn't thrill me.
"Dinner" was station-based during a networking reception. Although my mother spoke to and introduced me to a number of women (including a great new contact at Aon), probably 75% of the attendees were men. Didn't take me long to realize that I should have suggested one of my single friends go instead of me!
Sitting down during the dessert/awards portion, I flipped through the program. There were a total of 30 finalists in 6 different categories: medium and large private, medium and large not-for-profit, and medium and large public companies. Of the 30 finalists, 7 were women and 5 were in my mom's category: medium sized not-for-profit company. Despite the odds, a man won her category along with all 5 other awards. Four of the six winners mentioned a wife and children in their acceptance speech. No husbands or other partners mentioned at all. I believe every winner acknowledged his wife as the one who keeps him sane and balances out a crazy work life. I wonder, if I were to make that speech someday, would I be acknowledging a husband who keeps me sane? Because Dan does. I've also been told that I wear the pants in our relationship since we were in high school...guess that's just one more way my career and lifestyle maybe more traditionally reflects a male partner than a female one.
I read my mom's acceptance speech over her shoulder. It was pretty easy despite the dim light because she typed it up big enough to be able to read without her glasses. Part of her speech, and her bio in the program, was about her dedication to mentoring young women in the finance field. The final line of her speech mentioned one of her proudest moments being when her daughter (aka me) told her that she was a great role model as a professional woman. Now, I've recently discovered that my mom likes to paraphrase what I say and I'm not certain I've ever said that to her face, although I probably should have. She is a great role model as a successful female professional, although for many years I held a different opinion on her mothering skills and I'm still working through that one.
Needless to say, I was annoyed by the end of the evening and my mom was pretty shocked as well to see a full roster of male winners. I don't think its a reflection of the women in the CFO position not being good enough to qualify, but probably rather the lack of women in a CFO position period. My mom acknowledges that she feels very isolated at this point in her career being one of the few women her age in that kind of professional position. Her peers in the workforce are less likely to be at that level because so many of them took time off to have kids-"the mommy track". She wonders if it will be the same way when I'm her age.
More than at any other point in my life, last night made me to want to be a CFO-a career that I've never, ever considered. Not because I think its a super cool job, it isn't, but just because I know that I could be good enough to deserve to win one of those categories. Believe me, I think my mom is too and probably any number of other female CFOs as well.
I'm interested to see how I reflect back on last night after I finish reading Lean In and participate in the Aon women's network bookclub on it next Thursday. Maybe I'll set a personal record for blogging twice in a week!
Friday, October 18, 2013
A Big Thank You!
It has been a whirlwind few weeks for me. The madness started at my dad's birthday dinner on August 31st. My brother, Mark, started taking classes at DePaul so my mom was reviewing her benefits to see what they had to do so he could take classes for free. In doing this, she discovered that I still qualified to take graduate level classes there for half-price so long as I registered for them before my 26th birthday. On September 6th, I celebrated my 25th...a year left and counting. I've always intended to get my MBA, I was actually planning to start classes next fall, probably at DePaul. The prospect of saving what would come to $12,000 was too good to pass up so clearly I had to speed up my timeline a bit!
Talking to Christine, my Alpha Chi big sister, in mid-September, we reviewed my plan for the next month. I had to start and finish my DePaul application including 2 recommendation letters and 2 essays by October 1st. I had to register for, study, and take the GMAT shortly thereafter. I wanted to mail my save-the-dates by the 9 month mark (September 21st). This super killer treasury project was FINALLY going live on October 1st. I had to shop for bridesmaid dresses when my maid of honor was in town October 8th-12th. I was getting my wisdom teeth out on October 10th. Then everything else...2 formal events on back-to-back Fridays, starting a new tutoring program I'm piloting for Big Shoulders Fund, assorted other commitments...
On the plus side, Christine didn't feel nearly as overwhelmed by her September 17th deadline anymore!
I am proud to say, that as of October 18th, I've completed all of the above and more. Once again. I have to say I am so incredibly grateful to my supportive friends, family, and coworkers! My manager and the VP of our group commented I was going to be pretty damn busy come January, but never once discouraged me from applying and wrote/submitted my recommendation letters ahead of schedule during a super busy time at work for us all. My friend Amanda was awesome about reviewing my essays on short-notice since I have totally forgotten how to write anything other than business emails and blog posts (thankfully I rediscovered those skills prior to the GMAT). My sister, Erica, and Dan were rockstar save-the-date stuffers and lickers (and thanks to my mom for letting me use her printer!) My local bridesmaids were super flexible about dedicating 2 weekday evenings in a row to bridesmaid dress shopping, didn't mind that I was doing GMAT flashcards on my phone in between dress showings on Tuesday, and gave wisdom teeth advise while we walked around on Wednesday (2 of them had been to the same dentist I was heading to, and all 3 of them got theirs out a normal age). Allison and Erica were snack packing pros for those outings as well!
As much as I dreaded the GMAT, I totally kicked ass getting a 690 overall score (lets not talking about that 50 percentile math score) and just a little more than 2 weeks after submitting my application I got my acceptance letter from DePaul! Of course with my score I'm starting to wonder if I'm selling myself short by not applying to a more difficult school, but I'll work through that soon.
Most importantly, Dan was there through literally everything. Stuffing envelopes, pretending to be interested in bridesmaid dresses, reviewing my essays, easily sleeping through alarm clocks at 2am so I could work with the developers, doing engagement pictures while sick, being my date and for one evening, my purse, practicing football with me so I'm not completely worthless, driving to freaking Addison to look at limos instead of playing GTA V, letting me win the towel color for our registry...I mean everything. Let's not even talk about the whole wisdom teeth situation-I'm not sure Dan's ever been more desperate to leave the apartment. I'll admit that I was crying day 1 because I didn't want to drink my food anymore. In my mind, I'm some diminished version of superwoman, but in reality I would be nothing without everyone who's standing with me. I'm sure this past month is just a very small snapshot of how much I'll be relying on them between January and June!
Talking to Christine, my Alpha Chi big sister, in mid-September, we reviewed my plan for the next month. I had to start and finish my DePaul application including 2 recommendation letters and 2 essays by October 1st. I had to register for, study, and take the GMAT shortly thereafter. I wanted to mail my save-the-dates by the 9 month mark (September 21st). This super killer treasury project was FINALLY going live on October 1st. I had to shop for bridesmaid dresses when my maid of honor was in town October 8th-12th. I was getting my wisdom teeth out on October 10th. Then everything else...2 formal events on back-to-back Fridays, starting a new tutoring program I'm piloting for Big Shoulders Fund, assorted other commitments...
On the plus side, Christine didn't feel nearly as overwhelmed by her September 17th deadline anymore!
I am proud to say, that as of October 18th, I've completed all of the above and more. Once again. I have to say I am so incredibly grateful to my supportive friends, family, and coworkers! My manager and the VP of our group commented I was going to be pretty damn busy come January, but never once discouraged me from applying and wrote/submitted my recommendation letters ahead of schedule during a super busy time at work for us all. My friend Amanda was awesome about reviewing my essays on short-notice since I have totally forgotten how to write anything other than business emails and blog posts (thankfully I rediscovered those skills prior to the GMAT). My sister, Erica, and Dan were rockstar save-the-date stuffers and lickers (and thanks to my mom for letting me use her printer!) My local bridesmaids were super flexible about dedicating 2 weekday evenings in a row to bridesmaid dress shopping, didn't mind that I was doing GMAT flashcards on my phone in between dress showings on Tuesday, and gave wisdom teeth advise while we walked around on Wednesday (2 of them had been to the same dentist I was heading to, and all 3 of them got theirs out a normal age). Allison and Erica were snack packing pros for those outings as well!
As much as I dreaded the GMAT, I totally kicked ass getting a 690 overall score (lets not talking about that 50 percentile math score) and just a little more than 2 weeks after submitting my application I got my acceptance letter from DePaul! Of course with my score I'm starting to wonder if I'm selling myself short by not applying to a more difficult school, but I'll work through that soon.
Most importantly, Dan was there through literally everything. Stuffing envelopes, pretending to be interested in bridesmaid dresses, reviewing my essays, easily sleeping through alarm clocks at 2am so I could work with the developers, doing engagement pictures while sick, being my date and for one evening, my purse, practicing football with me so I'm not completely worthless, driving to freaking Addison to look at limos instead of playing GTA V, letting me win the towel color for our registry...I mean everything. Let's not even talk about the whole wisdom teeth situation-I'm not sure Dan's ever been more desperate to leave the apartment. I'll admit that I was crying day 1 because I didn't want to drink my food anymore. In my mind, I'm some diminished version of superwoman, but in reality I would be nothing without everyone who's standing with me. I'm sure this past month is just a very small snapshot of how much I'll be relying on them between January and June!
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Budgets and Grandparents
August ended up being a pricey month for wedding preparations between dress, photographer, and dj deposits coming at once! Even though the numbers I've been looking at on my budget are scary big (both my part and the total), I don't think it really hit me until I started transferring money out of my savings account when I've been so good about putting it in there for the past year and a half. I tried to remind myself that this is one of those "big life events" that are exactly what savings accounts exist for...which worked most of the time.
During one of my [few and far between] runs (hence why I haven't been blogging as often...), I was reflecting about my grandparents. Both of my dad's parents passed away a long time ago-when I was 6 and 16. My mom's father died a year ago January, he is survived by his second wife who I've met a total of once. My grandma's second husband passed away a couple of months ago but Alzheimers really took him from the family long before then-only Danny was kind of enough to ask after his health in the past few years (we never really liked him). My mom's mom is now the only living grandparent for either Dan or me who might make it to our wedding. However, she just got diagnosed with cancer again (same kind after over 5 years in remission...don't understand that one) and her short-term memory is almost non-existent. The good thing about that is every time she hears Dan and I are getting married she gets excited all over again. She LOVES Dan and think's he's very handsome :) Also means she doesn't remember other things like the fact that my aunt and uncle got divorced...but life's better that way, right?
Anyways, I want to acknowledge my grandparents in some way (and Dan's too, if he cares to suggest it) so I've been trying to come up with anything I could take of theirs to use on my big day. My biggest struggle with involving family heirlooms is the divorce rate in my family-my mom has 1 sibling who stayed married and her parents didn't either. So I feel weird having an emblem from anyone on her side because of that. However, my dad's side of the family has lots of long-lasting marriages, and lots of people who chose a religious vocation...perhaps these go hand in hand? As I dug through jewelry I inherited from my paternal grandmother, I came across a lot of beautiful but slightly out-of-date pieces as well as no fewer than 4 rosaries. Easy way to incorporate that part of the family-rosary somewhere in my dress or maybe wrapped around my bouquet (thanks for the idea Christine!) I also have a photo of my paternal grandparents from very early in their relationship displayed in our apartment that I hope to incorporate somehow as well.
After my fashion consultation with Elizabeth, I decided to wear my pearls for our engagement pictures next week. The necklace was a confirmation present from my dad's sister, the earrings were a confirmation present from my childhood nanny, and the bracelet made for/gifted to me by my dad's brother/my godfather out of some pearls they found at my grandmother's house. I'm so excited to be able to honor all of these wonderful people and their beautiful marriages in photos that will be documented for a long time to come!
And now coming full circle. A large portion of the money I'll be personally contributing to the wedding is a result of the sale of my car. Every time I looked at dresses or photographers, I'd think to myself what piece of the car is paying for that particular expense. Really romantic, right? I realized though, that almost half the money I used to initially purchase the car was a gift from my maternal grandfather. He was convinced he was dying several years ago and gifted us all our inheritance as our Christmas present back in 2009. I still remember talking to Erica on the phone and her mentioning that our checks from Grandpa arrived-I thought she misread where the decimal point was because they were much more than our usual Christmas present. The money was intended for my college fund but since I saved my parents so much money with scholarships (and studying abroad in Poland), they allowed me to use it to purchase a car that following summer. 2.5 years later when it was time to sell, well, I officially made the worst investment of my life, haha. An investment guaranteed to be worth less than it was initially. Nice job, Sarah.
Anyways, now instead of thinking that my dress cost as much as all the upholstery and interior decor in the car and my photographer/photos will cost as much as most of the parts under the hood, I think of them instead as being my inheritance from my grandfather. Since I haven't thought of a way to honor/remember my grandmother, I'll keep praying that her health stabilizes enough for her to attend in person, and maybe cry just a little bit that I'm taking Dan off the market!
During one of my [few and far between] runs (hence why I haven't been blogging as often...), I was reflecting about my grandparents. Both of my dad's parents passed away a long time ago-when I was 6 and 16. My mom's father died a year ago January, he is survived by his second wife who I've met a total of once. My grandma's second husband passed away a couple of months ago but Alzheimers really took him from the family long before then-only Danny was kind of enough to ask after his health in the past few years (we never really liked him). My mom's mom is now the only living grandparent for either Dan or me who might make it to our wedding. However, she just got diagnosed with cancer again (same kind after over 5 years in remission...don't understand that one) and her short-term memory is almost non-existent. The good thing about that is every time she hears Dan and I are getting married she gets excited all over again. She LOVES Dan and think's he's very handsome :) Also means she doesn't remember other things like the fact that my aunt and uncle got divorced...but life's better that way, right?
Anyways, I want to acknowledge my grandparents in some way (and Dan's too, if he cares to suggest it) so I've been trying to come up with anything I could take of theirs to use on my big day. My biggest struggle with involving family heirlooms is the divorce rate in my family-my mom has 1 sibling who stayed married and her parents didn't either. So I feel weird having an emblem from anyone on her side because of that. However, my dad's side of the family has lots of long-lasting marriages, and lots of people who chose a religious vocation...perhaps these go hand in hand? As I dug through jewelry I inherited from my paternal grandmother, I came across a lot of beautiful but slightly out-of-date pieces as well as no fewer than 4 rosaries. Easy way to incorporate that part of the family-rosary somewhere in my dress or maybe wrapped around my bouquet (thanks for the idea Christine!) I also have a photo of my paternal grandparents from very early in their relationship displayed in our apartment that I hope to incorporate somehow as well.
After my fashion consultation with Elizabeth, I decided to wear my pearls for our engagement pictures next week. The necklace was a confirmation present from my dad's sister, the earrings were a confirmation present from my childhood nanny, and the bracelet made for/gifted to me by my dad's brother/my godfather out of some pearls they found at my grandmother's house. I'm so excited to be able to honor all of these wonderful people and their beautiful marriages in photos that will be documented for a long time to come!
And now coming full circle. A large portion of the money I'll be personally contributing to the wedding is a result of the sale of my car. Every time I looked at dresses or photographers, I'd think to myself what piece of the car is paying for that particular expense. Really romantic, right? I realized though, that almost half the money I used to initially purchase the car was a gift from my maternal grandfather. He was convinced he was dying several years ago and gifted us all our inheritance as our Christmas present back in 2009. I still remember talking to Erica on the phone and her mentioning that our checks from Grandpa arrived-I thought she misread where the decimal point was because they were much more than our usual Christmas present. The money was intended for my college fund but since I saved my parents so much money with scholarships (and studying abroad in Poland), they allowed me to use it to purchase a car that following summer. 2.5 years later when it was time to sell, well, I officially made the worst investment of my life, haha. An investment guaranteed to be worth less than it was initially. Nice job, Sarah.
Anyways, now instead of thinking that my dress cost as much as all the upholstery and interior decor in the car and my photographer/photos will cost as much as most of the parts under the hood, I think of them instead as being my inheritance from my grandfather. Since I haven't thought of a way to honor/remember my grandmother, I'll keep praying that her health stabilizes enough for her to attend in person, and maybe cry just a little bit that I'm taking Dan off the market!
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Amazing Support aka Dress Shopping!
Its been a whirlwind week for me. Dan's been out of town since last Sunday-the longest we've been apart since we moved in together (1 year as of August 11th, isn't it crazy?!), which makes everything else both easier and harder. I've had an easier time getting stuff done, and by stuff I mean working seemingly nonstop. Its been an absolutely crazy week at work what with trying to coordinate testing for 100+ people and feeling other pieces of the project (you know, the part that I've been pretty much singularly working on for the past 13 months) slip through my fingers a little bit more each day. I ended up working from home two days this week just to maintain my cool. It was a pretty effective strategy except that Piper is MAKING ME NUTS!!! I'm pretty sure she's suffering from separation anxiety with Dan gone although she definitely didn't do this last time he was out of town. Sometimes its cute and she curls up next to me in bed-like literally make me move closer to the middle so she has room-but then she'll occasionally bite me for no reason and my allergies have been awful. She's also the pickiest former alley cat ever. She has to have canned food, and not just any canned food, but no longer eats pate or sliced meat, it has to be shredded. Ridiculous.
Enough about the cat, although look out for Facebook album titled "I have a problem with taking pictures of my cat" shortly because I need to delete them from my phone.
Bordering this hell-week was dress shopping!! Our first trip was to David's Bridal a week ago Monday. I figured it was a good place to start since I could easily browse everything online and had a wide selection. I brought my mom, Dan's mom, and my champ wedding-dress-picture-taking-bridesmaid Laura! Pretty surreal experience trying on a dress for the first time if I do say so myself, and I really liked the ones I found there. However, with the ridiculous amount of money going into this wedding I couldn't wrap my mind around buying a dress that cost just a little more than our per headcount cost for the reception so knew I'd keep looking.
Trip two was kind of last minute, but since I had to drive Dan down to work on Sunday to go on his little trip I made an appointment at Eva's Bridal in Oak Lawn. The first dress I came out in, my mom made a face and told me to take it off but it ended up being one of mine (and her) favorites. There was definitely a huge selection and we barely looked through half of it during our appointment time, but ended up finding 2 very different dresses that I adored! Buying on impulse/during an early shopping trip might work for some people, but I knew I wouldn't be prepared to purchase on just my second trip so we made another appointment to come back the following Sunday. So far Eva's was winning...
The appointment I was most excited about was today at a local wedding boutique in Lincoln Park. I've only heard great reviews about Weddings 826 and I pass by it all the time so to say that I was a little eager is definitely an understatement. They have a manageable selection of gowns and give you the opportunity to order or buy from the rack. It was exactly the experience I had been imagining-we were offered champagne, water, or tea and had a nice room with all the dresses and curtains that pulled together for the changing room. I was once again accompanied by my wedding-dress-picture-taking-and-editing-bridesmaid, my mom, and even dragged my sister into it by letting her spend time with Piper beforehand. Fell in love with another 2 dresses (my magic number) which were very similar in style but had subtle differences that I couldn't possibly decide between today.
After making a pit stop to browse invitations at All She Wrote (love shopping locally!!), hitting up the olive oil store, having lunch, and buying up half of Nordstrom Rack's junior's section (for my sister...I got some awesome new red heels, and a super cute dress that will probably be my shower dress for only $20!), we made it to Macy's bridal salon. Now, being a born and bred Chicagoan, I have a little bit of an issue with the whole Macy's buying out Marshall Field's situation but they do have dresses that aren't available in any other stores locally so thought I'd give it a shot. Have to say the experience was not as impressive considering what we'd been through in the morning. Less drink selections, multiple brides sharing the same mirror/viewing platform, could only see about 20 dresses displayed, but thankfully I had done my research and brought a large selection of pictures. Unfortunately, I guess a lot of the dresses I pulled are from the new season and they didn't have them in stock yet. Regardless, I did manage to find another 2 dresses, of course! They were actually similar to each other but different from the two similar ones I liked at Weddings 826. I think I actually managed to narrow it down to one, but its so hard to really know you like the dress when there are alterations in how I'd have it ordered. The one I really liked I'd be getting rid of some of the beading and ordering in a different color. Similarly, the ones I liked before I would be taking some of the poof out and one dress would be a different color.
So tomorrow will be repeat trip to Eva's Bridal. I was able to find all the dresses I liked today online (and took pics at the first salon) so I have a visual to compare to and Eva's might have the ones from Weddings 826 as well (although I'd rather buy at the place nearby just for convenience). The dresses I liked at Eva's last week are pretty dissimilar but each one is like one of the pairs I liked today. Hoping I can make a better decision on what I love tomorrow!
After the excitement of the day/in preparation for Dan coming home tomorrow I ended up staying in tonight which worked out perfectly since I finished the third book in a series my mom wants to borrow-yes, a real, live paperback book! I may have bought a few books (like 30ish) in the past week so gotta put those away before Dan comes home!
Really, the whole point of this post before I went on a really excited wedding dress tangent, was to talk about the unbelievable support we've gotten in the first 2 months of the planning process. We truly have the most amazing friends and family. I've been meaning to do this post for awhile with this picture-but I'm glad I procrastinated because we got 2 more cards this week!
Obviously I rearranged a little to get all of these in one picture, but our fridge is filling up with best wishes from the people who have waited just as long for this step as we have :) In case I don't say it enough-thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you! I'm thrilled that everyone accepted my invitation to be a part of our wedding party including the ringbearer and flowergirl I just asked last week! Well, technically my dad asked the ring bearer's mom but I got a very excited call from my aunt at 7:30 am last Monday and sent him some diving rings to "practice" with! My flowergirl totally made my day by emailing me saying that she's excited to be part of the wedding and loves her tank top! Even Dan's been awesome in helping make wedding decisions such as the colors, the photographer, the videographer, choosing a website design, and ruling out any dresses he won't marry me in! Now he's got a 5 item to-do list to complete before the 10 month mark so we'll see how that goes!
Special shout-out to everyone who's been hanging in there with me during this week. As much as I miss Dan and the fact that even a hug from him makes life a little bit more tolerable, I have such a great support circle! Laura, Dan L, and Kristen have been fielding text messages/gchats/lync messages from me the past few weeks that involve requests to drink, virtual screams, death threats, and sometimes just strings of letters from me banging on my keyboard like this "hdoiaf;lksafds". I also had "date nights" with my second and third favorite Dans (although depending on the day, they might be in first place!) which were awesome and things I need to make time for more often. A phone convo with Melissa was long overdue and I know I have others to catch up with too! Would have given Erica anything she wanted for letting me sleep through the night/feeding Piper at 5:30 this morning even though I was a horrible Wedding Friday date. After lots of girly bonding time today, its date night with my dad tomorrow just before I get to see my Dan again! By the way, thanks parents of the late 80s/early 90s--they really all had to be Daniel didn't they?!
Enough about the cat, although look out for Facebook album titled "I have a problem with taking pictures of my cat" shortly because I need to delete them from my phone.
Bordering this hell-week was dress shopping!! Our first trip was to David's Bridal a week ago Monday. I figured it was a good place to start since I could easily browse everything online and had a wide selection. I brought my mom, Dan's mom, and my champ wedding-dress-picture-taking-bridesmaid Laura! Pretty surreal experience trying on a dress for the first time if I do say so myself, and I really liked the ones I found there. However, with the ridiculous amount of money going into this wedding I couldn't wrap my mind around buying a dress that cost just a little more than our per headcount cost for the reception so knew I'd keep looking.
Trip two was kind of last minute, but since I had to drive Dan down to work on Sunday to go on his little trip I made an appointment at Eva's Bridal in Oak Lawn. The first dress I came out in, my mom made a face and told me to take it off but it ended up being one of mine (and her) favorites. There was definitely a huge selection and we barely looked through half of it during our appointment time, but ended up finding 2 very different dresses that I adored! Buying on impulse/during an early shopping trip might work for some people, but I knew I wouldn't be prepared to purchase on just my second trip so we made another appointment to come back the following Sunday. So far Eva's was winning...
The appointment I was most excited about was today at a local wedding boutique in Lincoln Park. I've only heard great reviews about Weddings 826 and I pass by it all the time so to say that I was a little eager is definitely an understatement. They have a manageable selection of gowns and give you the opportunity to order or buy from the rack. It was exactly the experience I had been imagining-we were offered champagne, water, or tea and had a nice room with all the dresses and curtains that pulled together for the changing room. I was once again accompanied by my wedding-dress-picture-taking-and-editing-bridesmaid, my mom, and even dragged my sister into it by letting her spend time with Piper beforehand. Fell in love with another 2 dresses (my magic number) which were very similar in style but had subtle differences that I couldn't possibly decide between today.
After making a pit stop to browse invitations at All She Wrote (love shopping locally!!), hitting up the olive oil store, having lunch, and buying up half of Nordstrom Rack's junior's section (for my sister...I got some awesome new red heels, and a super cute dress that will probably be my shower dress for only $20!), we made it to Macy's bridal salon. Now, being a born and bred Chicagoan, I have a little bit of an issue with the whole Macy's buying out Marshall Field's situation but they do have dresses that aren't available in any other stores locally so thought I'd give it a shot. Have to say the experience was not as impressive considering what we'd been through in the morning. Less drink selections, multiple brides sharing the same mirror/viewing platform, could only see about 20 dresses displayed, but thankfully I had done my research and brought a large selection of pictures. Unfortunately, I guess a lot of the dresses I pulled are from the new season and they didn't have them in stock yet. Regardless, I did manage to find another 2 dresses, of course! They were actually similar to each other but different from the two similar ones I liked at Weddings 826. I think I actually managed to narrow it down to one, but its so hard to really know you like the dress when there are alterations in how I'd have it ordered. The one I really liked I'd be getting rid of some of the beading and ordering in a different color. Similarly, the ones I liked before I would be taking some of the poof out and one dress would be a different color.
So tomorrow will be repeat trip to Eva's Bridal. I was able to find all the dresses I liked today online (and took pics at the first salon) so I have a visual to compare to and Eva's might have the ones from Weddings 826 as well (although I'd rather buy at the place nearby just for convenience). The dresses I liked at Eva's last week are pretty dissimilar but each one is like one of the pairs I liked today. Hoping I can make a better decision on what I love tomorrow!
After the excitement of the day/in preparation for Dan coming home tomorrow I ended up staying in tonight which worked out perfectly since I finished the third book in a series my mom wants to borrow-yes, a real, live paperback book! I may have bought a few books (like 30ish) in the past week so gotta put those away before Dan comes home!
Really, the whole point of this post before I went on a really excited wedding dress tangent, was to talk about the unbelievable support we've gotten in the first 2 months of the planning process. We truly have the most amazing friends and family. I've been meaning to do this post for awhile with this picture-but I'm glad I procrastinated because we got 2 more cards this week!
Obviously I rearranged a little to get all of these in one picture, but our fridge is filling up with best wishes from the people who have waited just as long for this step as we have :) In case I don't say it enough-thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you! I'm thrilled that everyone accepted my invitation to be a part of our wedding party including the ringbearer and flowergirl I just asked last week! Well, technically my dad asked the ring bearer's mom but I got a very excited call from my aunt at 7:30 am last Monday and sent him some diving rings to "practice" with! My flowergirl totally made my day by emailing me saying that she's excited to be part of the wedding and loves her tank top! Even Dan's been awesome in helping make wedding decisions such as the colors, the photographer, the videographer, choosing a website design, and ruling out any dresses he won't marry me in! Now he's got a 5 item to-do list to complete before the 10 month mark so we'll see how that goes!
Special shout-out to everyone who's been hanging in there with me during this week. As much as I miss Dan and the fact that even a hug from him makes life a little bit more tolerable, I have such a great support circle! Laura, Dan L, and Kristen have been fielding text messages/gchats/lync messages from me the past few weeks that involve requests to drink, virtual screams, death threats, and sometimes just strings of letters from me banging on my keyboard like this "hdoiaf;lksafds". I also had "date nights" with my second and third favorite Dans (although depending on the day, they might be in first place!) which were awesome and things I need to make time for more often. A phone convo with Melissa was long overdue and I know I have others to catch up with too! Would have given Erica anything she wanted for letting me sleep through the night/feeding Piper at 5:30 this morning even though I was a horrible Wedding Friday date. After lots of girly bonding time today, its date night with my dad tomorrow just before I get to see my Dan again! By the way, thanks parents of the late 80s/early 90s--they really all had to be Daniel didn't they?!
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