Dan interviewed to be a flight instructor at UND last Monday. It was a pretty extensive process involving a multiple choice test, traditional interview, and simulator test flight. When we talked later that evening, he didn't think he did too well at the interview and wasn't expecting a job offer.
On Tuesday, I received a text from him saying he got a job offer. Now, in his mind, if he were to take this job it would just be part time during the time he's already in ND to finish up his last 2 flight courses this summer. That is obviously ideal, the question still remained how realistic this would be though. It would be difficult to take on even just a couple of students and then try to leave before the summer term is over in August. Plus this job involves about 20 hours of training over 5 days, a written test, and another simulator test in order to officially employed. This made Dan a little nervous about finishing up his flight course from last semester in an appropriate period of time and made him more uncertain as to when he'd be able to start his next one. Undoubtedly, even undergoing the interview process would be a huge boost to getting a job back in Chicago in the [near] future, but having actual experience under his belt would be amazing.
He spent the next two days trying to decide what he wanted to do. At first he had decided to turn the job down, just in the interest of getting back to me sooner due to the fuss I made about him being home by June 30th to help with the moving process, pay rent, and end this long distance relationship once and for all. The selfish part of me obviously wanted him back, but now that we're getting closer and closer to that time, I am more worried than ever about him getting a job. He doesn't have flight instruction experience which certainly works against him, although having worked with college students as an RA/CA certainly helps a little bit. And he's graduating from one of the top flight programs in the country (the military affiliated schools and Embry Riddle campuses are generally considered better) which should hold some weight.
I thought back to my job search process which was long, painful, and not exactly something I'm entirely proud of. I ended up backing out of offers I accepted because my goal of coming home to Chicago was hard to come by and I didn't land my job here until pretty late in the game (as in a week after I graduated). Family issues last year made it more urgent that I come back to Chicago which is the one thing that lessens my guilt just the tiniest bit. However, I've known ever since high school that I wanted to live in Chicago long-term, which is part of the reason I chose to go away for college. Now that I made my way back here, I am extraordinarily hesitant to leave again. With my family situation, it is likely that I'll be primarily responsible for at least 3 members of my family starting within the next twenty years. And as I mentioned before, babysitters galore also add to the appeal of being here. That isn't to say that I only looked for jobs in Chicago. I applied to places pretty much all over the country but focused on the East Coast and Midwest. I made it to the final round of interviews and/or accepted positions in DC, Richmond, Milwaukee, Madison, Kansas City (MO), and Chicago. Through this whole process, Dan and I had many lengthy discussions about where we'd end up. Was he willing to move basically anywhere I found a job? Yes. This was purely by nature of me graduating first and finding a job first though. Realistically, especially now that I have some work experience and know where I'm heading to some extent, I could work in just about any city in the world. Dan, however, has much more limited options. The chances of us being able to stay in Chicago just because of his job are unlikely, but I'm definitely going to be putting up a fight every step of the way.
Dan wants to be a flight instructor at a 4 year university. Although I don't know the exact count, there are less than a couple hundred places in the country he could do that and he's not qualified to do it outside of the US. That obviously limits his job options significantly more than mine. As important as it is to me to be in Chicago long-term, its a lot harder for him to be here while dealing with his parent's recent divorce which forever changed the only family life he's ever known. So I did look for jobs in Minneapolis, and even North Dakota, to try to split the difference in distance between Dan and Chicago but it just didn't work out.
So now we're facing the same job problem, but with him. Hiring for aviation, especially at a university, is obviously a different schedule than what I was looking at so I'm trying to be patient. He had a great and promising informational interview at Lewis University, the only 4-year university with a flight school in the Chicagoland area. But they can't guarantee that they're hiring until the summer. There are of course other airports around here where he could instruct, but its not his ideal position and there's no guarantee he'd necessarily be able to work full time with benefits at any of them. Plus, all these places would obviously prefer to hire someone with experience.
So I spend most of Tuesday afternoon not only battling his job situation but then also thinking about what I want to preference as my next (and final!) rotation at Aon. It was on my commute home that I finally got the courage to ask Dan if the only reason he was planning to turn down the job at UND was because of me. He said yes, it mostly was. I realized that under no circumstances was this fair to him. As much as I didn't want him to stay up there, I couldn't take away from him a chance at his dream job. He had been willing to follow me anywhere, so there's no way I could tell him he shouldn't take a job that would only necessarily keep him away from me for a few extra weeks.
He's decided to complete training and then essentially sign up as a substitute flight instructor, just an extra one students can call if their instructor is busy when they want to fly. This is great because it doesn't commit him to staying past the time he finishes his class, but he does get the experience. Plus Dan's been able to take advantage of such instructors several times during his time at UND. Now the real challenge will be what he does for a permanent position. It sounds like he could basically opt to take this position on full time in the fall if he wanted to. It is his dream job, just not in his dream location. I'm not in a position to move to North Dakota anytime in the near future (nor would I want to) so if he were to work there full time it'd be another year of distance for us. As much as I dread that, can I really ask him to give up the very thing he's always wanted to do? Especially if the prospect of coming back to Chicago is working some random job (assuming he can get one) just to pay the rent? I don't know if I can ask him to do that, but I'm not sure I can't either.
When I reflect on the blessings and curses of falling in love with someone in high school, sacrifice of our own ambitions for the betterment of the relationship is definitely up there as one of the not-so-good consequences. We avoided this more or less by breaking up my freshman year of college. We each made our decisions of where to go to school independently of the other person's desires. Even my decision to come back to Chicago was only partially due to Dan and mostly a desire to come back here for my family and because I love this city. Dan would have followed me anywhere, that wasn't a concern. But for him to come back to Chicago now would definitely be just for me. Not that he doesn't like Chicago, but he'd be happy in a lot of different places...particularly in a smaller city and one away from his family I think.
For now, I'm making contingent plans if need be. Dan insists that he's going to come back when he's done with his courses no matter what, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. If he's not coming back, and I get this rotation that involves a lot of traveling, there's a good chance I'd just sublease the apartment we signed and move back to Oak Park for at least the next six months. Its not ideal, but nothing about this last year has necessarily been ideal so at some point I'll learn to accept that and move on. Plus when I think about the money I'll be saving instead of trying to put $1400 down for rent every month on my own, there's quite a bit of appeal.
In other news, Dan did finally complete the oral part of his first of two stage checks for his flight course. He's now one step closer to finishing last semester's course and getting started on his summer course flights. Keeping my fingers crossed he can finish this course by the end of the month...we'll see if that happens. I've given up on my June 24th return date....but hoping for July 6th so I'm not moving into OUR new apartment alone.
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