Last weekend marked my tenth visit to Dan in North Dakota. I went up for the first time in June 2008 for his orientation with him and his mom. Then again in October 2008 during my fall break. My next trip was September 2009 before I went abroad and I spent my spring break in March 2010 there as well. Another fall break at UND in October 2010 and then a quick trip there in January 2011 with Dan and Tim (his brother) to drive him back to school when the train got cancelled due to snow (shocker). That was the one and only time I went there in the winter and I have NO desire to return. My rear car windows literally didn't defrost the entire 36 hours we were on the road/in Grand Forks. Four more trips this year in June 2011 (my mom used miles to pay for my flight to bribe me to help pack up the house before we moved), November 2011, and then my spontaneous trip a few weeks ago and graduation. 10 separate visits in 4 years, 4 in the past year, to the state that many people don't visit in their entire life. The visits got more interesting once Dan had a car but those first few trips were not exactly fabulous. Don't get me wrong, I loved seeing him and cherished every moment we spent together....but there just isn't a whole lot to do in Grand Forks, especially when your options are to walk or borrow a car from a friend (which was easier once I turned 21 and could buy booze in return).
In my North Dakota adventures, I've taken the train once, flown 6 times, taken megabus/driven, and driven twice. Flying is definitely my preferred method but also the most expensive. I was supposed to take the train for my visit last summer too but the tracks were flooded out so my mom sprung for the flight instead of having me waste precious days stuck in ND when I could have been packing. Although Dan and I haven't calculated exactly how much we've spent visiting each other over the years....my guess is its getting close to the $5000 mark (if not more) at this point...especially once you factor in hotels for our weekends spent in DC and Minneapolis. Although I guess we could have easily spent that much going on dates like normal couples during 5.5 years we've been "together"....it still seems like a lot.
Every trip to North Dakota brought new stories. From his mom almost getting us kicked off Megabus to Tim making my car fishtail in some sleepy town in rural Minnesota to Dan's residents almost busting down his door because they thought he was beating me or something. After all those separate trips, I have to say it was a very weird feeling to drive out of University Place's parking lot knowing it was the last time I'd be in Grand Forks for awhile-I hope! At least until Matt's (Dan's best friend) graduation but at this rate even December 2013 might be hopeful for him :)
Tim and I left Oak Park around 4:30 on Thursday for our last ND adventure. Thankfully we were already experienced at spending 24 hours in the car together, although Dan was around for half of it the first time as well. Looking back, it was probably our last trip to UND that Tim and I became close friends. Spending 12 hours alone in the car with someone will do that to you I suppose. I know I'm grateful to finally have an older (by 2 months) brother...he might feel the same way about having a little sister, depending on the day.
Since driving to ND doesn't hold a ton of appeal in itself, I decided to take advantage of passing through Madison and Minneapolis to visit friends. My friend Ellen moved to Madison last summer to work at Epic (I also interviewed there but didn't get an offer) and her boyfriend, Dave, joined her. This was the first time (well, other than my friend Christine who is married) that I've visited one of my friends who's living with her boyfriend. I think it was especially strange since I've known Ellen since we were 8 (go mother daughter bookclub!) So it wasn't her first apartment with a roommate or something....it was hers and Dave's (technically their second I guess but still) and their dog! They're like real people. I guess I'm a real person too, but I'm still living with a roommate. They're just more real. I guess it shouldn't throw me off as much as it did considering Dan and I have already signed a lease, but there's still something so strange about seeing Dave-and-Ellen's room instead of Ellen's room and listening to them talk about who's going to do laundry that week.
As predicted, Dave and Tim were perfectly content being left to their own devices at a bar so they could discuss the art of brewing in peace. Ellen was able to show me around Madison a bit and I have to say I really loved it. I imagine some of my dear friends would tease me for loving it since its a liberal haven...but it was more than just that, I swear. It was great to catch up with her and I hope I can go visit again soon!
Friday started off with a short run (didn't realize how hilly Madison is...) so I could tolerate sitting in the car for another 9 hours. We were able to take a break in Minneapolis to meet once of my closest friends from Richmond-Ben. He's pretty much the only guy friend I keep in touch with from school....oh how times have changed! Ben has been working at Target Corporation and apparently too busy to stay in touch frequently! He also just BOUGHT A HOUSE. That was super scary. If I thought Ellen was a real person for living with Dave...hearing about Ben's house and seeing pictures was like terrifying. Clearly not there yet. Unfortunately we couldn't spend a ton of time there so we grabbed lunch, admired the kissing room in the restaurant, and headed out again.
Once I seriously started thinking about graduation weekend on the last leg of the drive, I became increasingly grateful that I visited Dan just a few weeks ago. We were basically alone together when we were sleeping...and that was about it. I stayed in his room with him and his family stayed in hotel rooms. Can't say I'll miss the wonderful college experience of sharing a twin bed with someone else. But I started getting sentimental as soon as I walked in his room and realized how different it looked just after a few weeks. All the posters and pictures were taken down from the walls. His normally obsessively neat room was in complete disarray. The table and stools we bought and put together at the beginning of his junior year had already been sold to another resident. When everything else in his life, in both of our lives, had been a mess and there was no real place to call home, this room had been his sanctuary.
The rest of the weekend went by pretty fast. We were only in Grand Forks from about 8pm on Friday to 11am on Sunday. I originally intended to stay Sunday night as well and drive home Monday on my own. But with Dan needing to focus on passing his stage check and an interview on Monday he thought it was probably best to go back with Tim. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just a little bit hurt. I was hoping he'd want to spend more time with me no matter what, but it really was for the best. I was able to hold onto a day of PTO so maybe I'll be able to spend it with Dan another time later this year.
Friday night was dinner with his family and then one last 24 hour (except midnight Saturday to noon Sunday) Wal-mart adventure to get ice cream for dessert. Saturday was mostly taken up by graduation. We couldn't even do our traditional french toast breakfast on Saturday morning (we love cooking together) because Dan basically had no food in his room. Tim, Matt, and I didn't really feel like hanging around the Alerus Center for 2 hours until graduation though so we went to buy a football and threw it around for a bit outside. I learned how to catch which will hopefully help us actually complete some of the requisite girl plays during our game this week. After 3 very long hours sitting through graduation, we came up with the brilliant idea that Tim should throw Dan the football on the way out. Matt and I managed to catch Dan's attention from our seats so we started pointing towards Tim who was lower down in the stands. It took him awhile to catch on, but Dan did eventually pass off his "You will receive your diploma in the mail in 4-6 weeks" paper to the girl in line behind him and caught the pass.
The one strange part about this graduation weekend is that Dan isn't done yet. Even if UND were as cool as Richmond and gave out diplomas at the actual ceremony, he wouldn't have gotten one since he still has the two flight classes to finish up. I'm sure it was harder for him than it was for the rest of us, but it still felt not totally real since he wasn't coming home. When I graduated Richmond we packed up all of my possessions into my dad's rental SUV (you haven't seen packing until you've seen my dad pack-its a true miracle and everyone present can testify to that. My roommate's dad even stopped carrying things out to the car and just stood and watched my dad work wonders with my absurd amount of belongings) and took off the next morning. Dan packed up most of his stuff, but still had to keep the essentials around. The rest of us packed the cars to leave the next day, but he stayed there...packing up his own car and checking out of his apartment alone to move into Matt's apartment for the summer. This knowledge didn't stop us from celebrating the day though!
Since our dinner reservations weren't until 7:30 and we had several hours to kill, we went down to the river to enjoy the surprisingly beautiful day. Typical, it was me and the guys since Dan's mom and aunt decided to go back to the hotel to nap. Once again, the football came in handy to pass the time...until Tim jammed his finger. Lets hope he's better for Saturday since he's our QB! We had dinner at the same restaurant Dan and I went to for my 21st birthday, He got the graduation special-a green martini. I highly doubt I'll ever get to see him drink anything like that again. Frozen yogurt was a great dessert (yes, even ND has froyo!)
Dan and I had a discussion when we got home that evening about communicating well with one another since we had a lot of decisions to make in the next few months as to what the next stage of our relationship and our lives would look like. He made the amateur mistake of suggesting I wasn't part of his family at one point. I'm quite certain he didn't actually mean what he said but after I had spent the afternoon with his mom, dad, brother, and aunt I didn't take that comment very well. Throw in the fact that I made the graduation dinner reservations, served as a go-between on more than one occasion with both boys and their mom, suggested we go out to mother's day brunch the next day and researched a restaurant (do you know how hard it is to find brunch options in Grand Forks?!), AND bought his mother a mother's day card. So I decided to go to sleep early instead of helping him pack, using the driving as an excuse. Evidently my anger carried through into my unconscious. The next morning Dan told me I was sprawled over the entire bed minus about 6 inches along the wall. He seriously thought he'd have to sleep on the floor. This of course led to the discussion about who was going to sleep on the couch when we fought....I reasoned that since the couch was his and the bed is mine, I clearly get to stay in the bed.
Sunday brought my first mother's day away from my mom in 25 years. I was glad to help make Meg/Maureen/Ms. Magner's (I don't know what to call her...so I left the envelope blank) more special with brunch, but it was still weird to be away from my family. Just like that Thanksgiving I missed because I was in Poland, I don't think my family will ever forgive me for missing Mother's Day this year. Despite the fact that I incessantly texted and emailed my siblings to remind them of plans, bought her present months ago, and arranged for us to have lunch together this week to make up for it. I wrote in my mom's card that she needs to learn how to share me one of these days. She said no. I did make sure to call my mom that morning although most of our conversation revolved around how my brother managed to nearly total my dad's car (2nd crash, 2nd car in 3 weeks and he's only had his license a couple of months). Great mother's day present I'm sure. Side note: mother's day is freaking expensive and her birthday is in another month. I mean I know she carried my for nine months (I cringe a little every time I see one of the 5 bijillion pregnant women in Chicago these days) and gave birth to me and such...but I spent like $180 in total!! No wonder E and I have always considered it our least favorite day of the year....
Just 4 short hours after waking up and 39 hours after arriving in North Dakota, it was time for Tim and me to pull away. Our car was a little more weighed down on the way home with some of Dan's possessions and a bike we managed to acquire (Tim will have to explain that one...). The trip home was much less exciting. We alternated driving a few times until we made it home just about 12 hours after we left. The only notable stop was to get beer in Hudson and I had Arby's for the third time in my life. I ended up driving probably between 9-10 hours of the total trip...more on the way back than the way there because I wanted to finish my Nicholas Sparks audiobook before we got home. Somehow we managed to hit traffic at 9:30pm on a Sunday night coming back into Chicago. I blame Tim since it was smooth sailing until he took over in Rockford. Oh well, just meant more time for Tim and Sarah bonding since it was the only leg of the trip one of us wasn't sleeping/reading/listening to a book/watching a movie. It was a whirlwind of a weekend for sure.
And this week was at least, if not more, exciting...more to come!
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