Living Alone

June and July were crazy busy for me. I literally had 6 free evenings in July to start the month (and have had less now that I'm almost done), and June wasn't much better especially when I factored in moving. In fact, I purposely brought my dog into the city in June for a week so I'd have to keep my evenings free to come take care of him and pack.

Why did I have to do this you ask? Well, I discovered during my times of periodically absent roommates that I really truly don't like living alone. This feeling was reaffirmed last night as I had my first free night in I have no idea how long. I came home from work, went to the gym and ran a couple of errands, but from 8:30 on it was just me, myself, and I. I was already getting antsy just in my three waking hours on my own last night, and I've got pretty empty evenings for the next two weeks. Now, this is partially on purpose/I'm kind of looking forward to it because I want to watch the Olympics, but I'm not particularly looking forward to doing it on my own.

Now, fingers crossed, Dan will hear on Monday that he got the job at Lewis and will hopefully be home next weekend. Then my empty schedule will be great because it'll give us time to finish settling in together and spend time actually figuring out how to be a real couple. Until then..we'll see.

Its not that I dislike independent activities. I like looking at random things online, enjoy watching my own choice of tv shows on the rare occasion, and adore reading. But for some reason, I just kind of wish there were someone else here doing these things with me. Or not even doing them with me, just here in general.

I talked to Allison about my dislike for living alone today, and she almost wished she were in my shoes. Although she's looking forward to continuing her relationship with Brian (assuming they actually get an apartment in the next few days!!!), she does wish she had the opportunity to live on her own. I really have absolutely zero desire to have that opportunity any more than I've already had it. Granted, if I hadn't had it already to some extent, maybe I would wish I had that experience?

I think maybe part of the reason I don't care to live alone is because I grew up in such a loud and crazy household that I was never alone. I remember in high school wishing I had more time to myself occasionally, but I think what I really wanted was privacy, not an empty house. I don't even remember being annoyed with having roommates in college (with maybe 1 or 2 exceptions). In fact, I really miss having someone around all the time, or at least most of the time.

The funny thing is, I'm the only person I know who has lived alone (to some extent) who hasn't liked it. So that makes me wonder if there's something inherently wrong with me that I dislike my own company, being alone with my own thoughts. I don't think that's true, but who knows. I considered this while running tonight. Although I like the idea of running with other people, I can't run as far while I'm talking so I also appreciate running alone. I keep telling Dan I want to run with him once he moves back, but I think I just really want to feel safe running at night again and I will if he comes with me. So I don't mind my own company in my own head while I'm running, but I wish there were someone to come home to. I've certainly thought about getting a pet, because that would fulfill some of that gap I feel on my own. I think there's something about the idea that no one depends on me, no one is excited to see me, no one knows where I am at any given time that makes me a little uncomfortable.

I'd have to agree with Margaret Mead on this one: "One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are, when you don't come home at night".

New vs. Old

I've been planning this post out in my head for about the last two months....and actually it was originally going to be 2 separate posts but since I've been so flaky about writing on here I figured I'd make the most of wedding Friday with Erica in Canada and just do a nice big post instead!! Missing Dan right now seeing as we're staying in a room clearly meant for couples (there's a bathtub in the bedroom, for example) but I'll get to see him on Monday when he comes back for the interview! Keep sending those prayers, good vibes, crossed fingers, etc our way...this could finally be the actual end of long distance for us!

Anyways, back to the point of the post. It was certainly a bittersweet moment to say goodbye to my first apartment on June 30th, but considering I had been imagining myself getting off at the Fullerton stop ever since I signed my new lease at the end of March so its been a long time coming. For those of you who didn't know of all of my adventures from my apartment this past year, I spent the first six months living with my best friend's boyfriend and the second six months living with my ex-boyfriends best friend. To say the least, it was certainly an adventure. But, as I was advised while seeing The Matchmaker tonight, it is important "to have just the right amount of adventure". Not quite sure if I achieved that, but oh well.

Dan and I are planning to have a housewarming/graduation party for him sometime in August, but until that happens/if it doesn't/if you live halfway across the country and can't make it, please enjoy the tour through pictures below! If you do happen to be in the Chicago area, please feel free to stop by anytime. We, well I at least, love entertaining and I have a shockingly empty social calendar in August so I should actually have the opportunity to get everything all put together!

P.S. Putting this many pictures on this blog was a freaking disaster and took several hours so don't expect too many posts like this!

The fairly large kitchen with three different types/colors of cabinets, uneven floors, and a leaking ceiling. However, it did have my very first tea kettle (my lease-signing present to myself) and I started making pinterest recipes here so there are some good memories!

My smaller, but much better matching kitchen! There's still more cabinet room than I'll ever use (mainly because I can't reach some of it...) which is wonderful since Dan and I have at least 3 kitchens worth of stuff combined! I also love that its open to the rest of the apartment so it'll be easier to cook and carry on a conversation with other people. Its definitely smaller, but Dan and I will just have to learn how to cook in close proximity! And the breakfast bar is actually the right height for the stools this time. 

My old panty was probably the best part of the kitchen! At the very least it all matched and it provided some much needed drawer space that we were lacking in the main kitchen!

My new spare closet turned into a pantry. Buying the shelving unit at BBB was definitely a good investment. If only I remembered to use the $65+ in gift cards I had in my purse...And yes, we have every single random kitchen appliance known to mankind-including duplicates of some of them! So if/when we ever tie the knot, don't expect to find an ice cream maker, electric griddle, crock pot, fondue kit, panini maker, or waffle iron on our registry! But do feel free to come over for breakfast/lunch/dinner/dessert many times

Was so excited to find these chairs for $12 each at Divine Consign last summer. This picture was taken long before my (aka the Magner's) matching china cabinet got put into place along the opposite wall. Although this room was more or less transformed into roommate #2's office, my favorite times in there were our somewhat weekly family dinners starting on October 10th :)
No separate dining area anymore, but this is more than adequate for my still-not-stained dining room table. It will be perfect for dinners for two or more! We even have a spare folding table to throw on the end if there's a big group.

This was an early picture of the old living room so those boxes did eventually disappear as did my scrapbooking stuff, but we never did really make use of the "awkward alcove" as we so fondly called it except for my Christmas tree. Surprisingly the red-yellow-blue color scheme worked out well and it was a great space to entertain in with all the seating-2 couches and 2 chairs at its peak!

Still boxes in this picture too so at least that's even! Far fewer windows in this new living room which is a little bit of a downside (although the old ones were so dirty that I never opened them anyways...) but I'm really excited to have the L shaped couch which fits wonderfully in the room. You can't really sit it well in this picture but we even managed to get a desk in too. I love that this room is open to the kitchen/dining area-I could even watch tv while I cook if I wanted to. 

Despite it being a little on the small side, I absolutely ADORED my old bedroom. I was told on multiple occasions that it looks like something out of a bed, bath, and beyond ad (the bedspread is from there, so that helps!) I was thrilled with how the black, white, and green color scheme came together throughout the room as well. Good thing too since I spent so much time in this room!

It's definitely still weird for me to think that never again will I have my own room, this is now our room. The comforter is a little girly, yes, but I did make Dan pick it out with my last summer (the bedframe, dresser, nightstand, and mirror as well!) so he can't complain too much! There's still a lot of decorating-and book unpacking-to be done here before I love it as much as my old room but it's definitely getting there! I've also reserved a whole 1/3 of the closet for Dan-be very impressed! Although his dresser is also about 1/3 of the size of mine so we may have to work on that one he's actually back for good with all his clothes. Everything doesn't match quite as well now, but we do have light wood on both sides of the bed (Dan's dresser and nightstand) so it kind of balances out. Not as many visible green accents [yet] but we'll see if I can make it look like something out of a BBB ad again!

new bathroom, not too exciting but the old one was such an eye sore that I never took a picture of it so I'm pretty excited to put this up!

view of the new apartment from the living room 

Finally!

I've been letting my readers down, I know. Only 2 posts the entire month of June! In all fairness, changing positions at work and moving/moving in with Dan all in the span of a week was VERY poor planning on my part and I feel like I've barely had a moment to catch my breath. July doesn't look much better in the time department (6 free evenings the whole month? Bring it on!) Hopefully in the next few days I'll have enough time to update you all on the moving out, living in the suburbs, and moving back in ordeal. But for now, two exciting things to share!

1. Dan and I have officially survived 30 hours living together!! There's been a lot of stress and some yelling, but the only major incident was me getting impaled by a dresser, which was kinda Dan's fault, obviously. Only evidence is some bruises on my hips though, so could have been worse. We even hosted our first guest (his mom) for dinner (Chinese takeout) last night. And yes, I'm already sensing my diet slipping seeing as my last few meals consisted of Sonic, pizza, Chinese, bagels, and now leftovers. I did make Dan buy fruit last night though, so we're making progress. I'm certainly dreading the inevitably large shopping trip I have to make either today or tomorrow though. At least we're going to Sam's (Tim's girlfriend) for dinner tonight. Whatever Tim cooks will certainly be better than what we're been eating!

2. Dan got an email from Lewis University's Chief Flight Instructor on Friday asking him to come in for an interview. Even though Lewis is 40 miles southwest of Chicago, this is the closest 4-year university with a flight program and therefore has been his dream job ever since I moved back to Chicago last year. It finally seems like we're thisclose to having the last 5+ years of long distance pay off so we'd really appreciate good vibes, prayers, crossed fingers, whatever you can/want to do to send good luck our way!